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i did that with my mind, man.

whoa.

3/5/06 02:51 am - saxophones and synthesizers

i miss going to shows
=i used to be a scenester.

live music reminds me:
i want to live.

2/28/06 01:56 am - string

remember
remember
remember:

she doesnt think yre beautiful,
because she is the same insane.

she blurted it out.
and here i fall.

2/20/06 01:29 am - broken up

next time,
when things seem better,
if im opening up my heart,
if i start to smile,

fucking slap me,
and remind me,

that theyre only going to love you
for a minute.

theyre only going to love you,
until they see who you are.

afraid.
anxious.
awkward.
anti-social.


and most commonly:
alone.

2/8/06 11:50 pm - yea and

just so you know,
none of it means anything.

i lied.

it/you/i.
nothing.

1/27/06 10:52 pm - ha. uhhhh hmm.

this is embarassing.

1/22/06 12:39 pm - reject'd

its not me talking,
its the e.

1/20/06 03:01 pm - etacidem-fles

sooo...
tonight.


she told me to be careful.
ha, 'i dont know him too well, dont let anyone drive fucked.'
yea. i know.

ten minutes earlier,
she said she was lonely.

1/1/06 02:30 pm

i feel really dirty;
think i need stitches
(on my cunt).

12/31/05 01:36 am - oh. it was just a mirage...

nothing is working.
im sad, because i thought everything was working.
maybe im impatient.

12/27/05 12:35 am - once upon a dream...

i was at a party and really drunk.
i passed out, for a couple hours i guess.
i woke up, in an indoor pool.
they were painting the walls with blood;

myyyyy blood.
they slit my wrists and stole my blood.

panic.

call home.
uhoh - i missed curfew.
hung up on dad; banned from 'home'.

i surrender, go into the backyard.
and continue to party;
staring at the backdoor.

because thats what i do in real life:
settle for people
who rob me of life.

no consideration; no apologies.

12/20/05 09:07 pm - e

i cant even look at you, because all im going to do is fuck up yr life.

12/19/05 02:34 am - i think that

people seem to need to put things into boxes
as they get older. smaller boxes.

people think that containment
is organization.

and that organization
is happiness.

happiness isnt orderly
all the time.

how can happiness be perscribed?
my idea of happiness always involves
running away.

12/17/05 02:32 am - skjfhfg

i keep denying
that our love is dying
dead.

12/15/05 10:53 am - x-ams

"you should have been born fourty years ago..."
no no no.
its still quite relevant now.

12/14/05 11:36 am - &&

then i wonder: what would i be doing if i werent in school?

this 'life' thing is way too big for me.

12/11/05 12:45 am - i am screwed

and my roomate is being an inconsiderate jerk.
i cant wait until exams are over.

12/6/05 11:29 am - december 6, 1989

just think about it for a bit.

12/5/05 03:52 am - lesigh.

letting go of someone you love
is the hardest thing
in the entire fucking universe.

but sometimes so necessary;
in that selfish sorta way...

i have to cut you out.
fuck.

i love you,
im sorry,
g'bye.

12/3/05 08:33 pm - how

is it possible to be creative when everyone is watching?
i dont like livejournal.
yet : here i am

seems lika fucking newpaper or something.
except with pictures of menstrual blood everywhere.
ah, best newspaper ever i spose...


so, i suck at school.
i want to drop out.
or at least, drop dead.

i cant wait to be in new york.
i think i found a roomie
and hes fucking killerrrrr and shit.

anyways:
fuck you;drop dead.
Current Music: loco locass and elliot smith - odd combination, i know.

12/2/05 02:03 pm - wow.

this site is uhhh...
yea i dont like it.
formatandshit.



essayessayessayessayessayessayessay.
+ i love jenna.
th=nd.
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